SPEAKER_03: 0:00

This happened multiple times in looking back at life. And also with the people that I researched, they they made a decision, oftentimes from a place of pain or a place of wanting the place of wanting to change at 40, 45, 50, 60, 65, they were like, I want to do something else. And as soon as they made that decision and took action, they said everything starts to fall into place.

SPEAKER_00: 0:28

Welcome to this empty nest life. Join Jay Ramsden as he leads you on a transformative journey through the uncharted seas of midlife and empty nesting. If you're ready to embark on this new adventure and redefine your future, you're in the right place. Here's your host, the empty nest coach, Jay Ramsden.

SPEAKER_04: 0:47

Hey there, my emptiness friends. Do you find yourself saying, I just can't start something new now that the kids are grown and flown? Perhaps you feel stuck, unsure of what's next, and can't quite wrap your head around how to even get started. If so, then hold on to your hats, as today I'm joined in the studio by Troy Horn. Troy is a best-selling author. He's appeared on Star Search and NBC's The Sing-Off competition, and he even played the role of Tom Collins in Rent on Broadway. A father of three, his mission is to help people over 40 live their dream. And his book, Middle Management, does just that. Troy, welcome to this empty nest life.

SPEAKER_03: 1:25

Thank you so much. This has been really cool, Jake. I'm really excited. This will be fun.

SPEAKER_04: 1:29

Yeah, and when we were talking a little bit before, you're like, I'm in the preview stage of empty nesting. Yeah. So tell me what that means. When you said preview stage, I was like, I don't even know what you mean by preview stage.

SPEAKER_03: 1:40

So when when you see, oh, wait a minute, I've got high schoolers and they want to go off and go do things with their friends. And then I have a kid in college who's already gone, and you start this go, wait a minute, this is gonna be quite interesting here in about a year or two when there's no one in the other bedrooms or whatever else. What are we gonna do? Because I mean, you spent you know this, you spend so much time focused on did someone make it a practice? Did they do their homework? How are their grades going? And all of a sudden you're like, I won't have to do that anymore. This is gonna be wild.

SPEAKER_04: 2:12

Yeah. So it's one in college and two at home. Yes, yes. Okay, yeah, okay. Yeah, it is a little bit wild, especially when you are used to all those check-ins and making sure people got to from point A to point B and done X and Y. And then the energy in the house changes and it shifts, and you're kind of like, you'll see, you'll wait, it'll come. You'll be like, Oh crap, what do I what do I do now?

SPEAKER_03: 2:34

Which is, you know, yeah, good. We're we're we're thinking about how do we maybe go see some of the world. That's I love that.

SPEAKER_04: 2:42

Yeah. So visit a couple places here and there for a few months at a time. Yes. I love it. I love it. That's good. There are lots of people who do that, and it's kind of an interesting component. And for folks who are listening, sometimes they get stuck, right? Their mind goes, I can't figure out that next thing. I'm not sure what to do. Your life has been full of creative endeavors, clearly, right? With uh the sing off competition and Star Search and on Broadway, playing Tom Collins in rent. But I'm curious where it connects to your mission to help people over 40, because I would imagine some of that happened before you got to be 40. So tell me about the connection and let's see where this conversation takes us.

SPEAKER_03: 3:26

Yeah. So in that preview, you start to go, well, wait a minute, what do I want to do? You know, around for me, it was around like 45, 46. I was like, what do I want to do for the rest of my life? And then you start, for me, anyways, it was like, well, part of me, I don't know. Do I want to do what I did before? Well, no, I don't really want to do that, but I have a passion for this, or I have a passion for that. And then you go into this thing, am I like, am I too old to do that? Is that is that responsible? Is that realistic? And so in my own discovery of that whole journey, it's been like, it is an actually in writing the book and doing research for that and going through the steps that I suggest in there, anyways, you find that you're actually more capable than you were when you were 20. It's like when you were 20, you thought you knew what you actually know now.

SPEAKER_04: 4:19

So okay. I like the way you frame that. Yeah, yeah. And you you might have the means to do things. Exactly. Yes. Folks, I'm not saying you have to have money to do anything magical in your emptiness life, but just the idea of, oh, we do have this available. But what you hit on something very important there, Troy, is you're like, oh, can we? Is it allowed? Is it allowed for us to go off on adventures? What if somebody needs us back here?

SPEAKER_03: 4:48

Yes, yes, yes. All those things, definitely. That's the biggest one. Am I allowed? And find and actually, you know, having that moment where you're like, wait a minute. I'm like, uh I'm the captain now. I can tell, I can give myself permission to do whatever I want to give my. It's like there is no other person out there saying, No, you can't. It's you. And so that has been a really cool realization as well.

SPEAKER_04: 5:16

Yeah, I think that's where a lot of people get stuck is yeah, you're allowed to give yourself permission to do. Yeah. Right. And you you can be both available to your kids. Of course.

SPEAKER_03: 5:26

And go do things. You mean the kids that, you know, sometimes sing in the voicemail or don't respond.

SPEAKER_04: 5:32

Yeah, the ones who don't like it takes them a week to respond to attacks or yeah. You wonder so many people get stuck on oh, I check life 360. That's my new job.

SPEAKER_02: 5:45

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 5:47

I saw you went to the grocery store. They're like, Mom, dad, come on. Did you buy anything good?

SPEAKER_02: 5:53

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 5:56

So good. I love it. I love it. So, but tell me about the life after like helping people go for life after 40. Like, how did that become your mission?

SPEAKER_03: 6:05

Yeah, because you know, all throughout the whole time of either writing, which I started writing after 40. I wrote a book actually with my for my son about mindset. And uh that was at 45, and I was really looking to help him. And using that knowledge that I thought was just stuff that I learned from self-help or whatever, ended up helping, like, we like helped over 200 and something thousand families with this information. And that was the first time I was like, wait a minute. What I actually have taken for granted for like common knowledge is stuff that younger people don't know. The things that I, you know, take as take for granted, like everybody knows how to do this, they don't. And I and we kind of have an obligation, I think, to share that wisdom and that experience and that stuff with people through whatever means we want or thing we want to share.

SPEAKER_04: 7:00

Interesting. So tell me more about that. You wrote a book for your son about mindset. Right. How did that come to be?

SPEAKER_03: 7:07

So he was really he was playing basketball, and he's still playing basketball. I'm really excited for him. He's getting ready to go on to his next little journey. But, anyways, he was like 10, 11 years old, and that's when they start going from playing ret to like playing competitive, you know. That's we get serious about, you know, something like okay. But anyway, but anyway, so so the energy just shifted in the room, and the kid that used to be super excited and dance on the I mean, guys would be shooting free throws, and my son Moes would be like dancing on the side, just like because he was so happy to be playing, you know. I saw that go away. And so I'm big into self-help, and so I was trying to give him the ideas of like visualization and meditation, all this stuff, and all the books were from an adult point of view. So I was like, Well, I can't find one that really relates to him that he can, you know, kind of resonate with. So you wrote it with him. Did you write it with him? I love that. Is this what you think? Is this how you feel? You know, is this and and two over almost 300,000 people have not read that book, which is really cool. And I'm really but that was like an eye-opening of like all of us have this information and this knowledge that can help so many people, you know.

SPEAKER_04: 8:24

So yeah, and I love that it's focused. It was it's more focused at kids that who are like 10, 11, because it is around that time. I was in education for a long time, and that's when it is. Like when they leave fifth grade, you know, they go into middle school. That's when it starts, like that age group, like 11, 12, they start to lose that joy of what they used to do. Yeah, my wife was an elementary school teacher, my daughter's an elementary school teacher now. Yeah, and you you just see the joy in kids, but when it gets to be serious, serious, right?

SPEAKER_02: 8:56

Serious seventh grade.

SPEAKER_04: 8:57

Yeah, then it's oh, what happens? But I think you're right, that's perfect that you wrote a book there where the mindset kicks in. Okay. Yeah, you did that there, and then now you have middle management out for people later in life. Yes, what was the impetus there?

SPEAKER_03: 9:14

Um, again, it was my own struggle of what do I want to do now? What you know, it's like do I want to do music? Can I do this? Is it too old? Am I too old to do this? And for me, it was like, can I give myself permission, like we talked about earlier, to do something new? And for me, it was like I did researching people who have done it in the past. And then for me, that was like, oh, yeah, well, this person did it and this person did it, and it was so much, you know, it was so much more difficult. They didn't have the internet, they didn't have all these ways to reach people all over the world. Why am I telling myself that it's gonna be more difficult for me than Julia Child or or oh my gosh, George Foreman or Martha Stewart or like any why is it they don't they didn't have any of this stuff when they started? So, you know.

SPEAKER_04: 10:02

Yeah, I think you're right. Like at the time to do things, to be an entrepreneur, to really explore. I mean, obviously, now with AI, you can ask AI anything, right? It's like just go you can go on a journey without even leaving your home. But yeah, the idea of like I can give myself permission to do what's next best for me. Yeah, I think that's where people get stuck. And it's exciting that you did it and you wrote a book about it. So the band, I didn't even mention that in the intro. Is that what you're doing now, or is that like a moment in time? Tell me more about that piece.

SPEAKER_03: 10:36

Yeah, so music was what I did in, like I say, in the first half, and I loved it. And I actually my my new thing that I'm doing now, well, and I'm not necessarily new because I guess I've been doing it for the last five, six years, but is writing books. I love reading books, and even with the expiration of uh doing the one with my son, I learned that there are just voices and ideas that I want to be a part of bringing to the world because I couldn't find the ones that I wanted, and then when I did it, it resonated with so much so many people. So I'm like, I feel like the tie of music and uh being of service through writing is where I want to be. The band thing that you asked about before, that was that was that was really fun. Yeah, we toured with Levi's and opened for Steve Miller and Government Mule and those guys, man. That was an eye-opening experience.

SPEAKER_04: 11:32

I bet. I bet I love just the journey. Yeah, I I love the journey that you've been on because I think it's no, but it shows people like you don't have to just oh, I'm choosing this next thing. Yeah, right. Well, there's always a next thing and a next thing, and that's like you don't have to just be like, oh, what am I gonna do now? Like, okay, what now and then what's next? I'm a big believer in that.

SPEAKER_01: 11:54

Yes, yeah, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 11:56

So what are you doing? Like the writing right now is what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03: 11:58

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I want to I want to write more books that kind of give a different perspective on life and opportunity and possibilities. And honestly, it took me, and as I talk about in the thing, it took me about a year or so to give myself permission to to do that because I was like, Well, can you do that? And my wife was like, What are you talking about? You've already written a book, it's already sold. What are you talking about? Can you? So I I really identify with the giving yourself permission part, you know. So um had to do it again.

SPEAKER_04: 12:34

You had to give it your self permission again.

SPEAKER_03: 12:37

I love that.

SPEAKER_01: 12:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 12:39

And when you get older, I don't know about everyone else, but for me, it's like you have the knowledge, but you also have all the the memory of things that when they didn't work. And so you're thinking, is this gonna be the time that it doesn't work? And do I have time to you know pick myself up if it doesn't? And and what I've found in this journey is you have so much knowledge and so much ability that all those things that you failed at before are really your I call it your your scar power because you you oh yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_04: 13:19

Scar power. Well, let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_03: 13:22

Yeah, it's like you like when people like what they say, Walt Disney went to a hundred banks before he got funding for Disneyland or whatever, Disney World or whatever. You better believe that 100, 101, 102 were cake. Because he's like, I've already done this a hundred 99 times. I know exactly what you're gonna say, I know exactly how to work around that objection or whatever. And it's we're at that space where we've done all the things that don't work. So now doing the things that we want to do are gonna be ridiculously easy. I love it.

SPEAKER_04: 13:59

So you should trademark that scar power if you haven't already. Oh, hey, and then write a and then write a book about it. We call scar power, yeah. Scar power. Because that people will, I think that's I think a lot of people who are listening are like, oh, I get like that that resonates with me. Scar power. I've had so many things happen in my life, which is what keeps people from moving forward. It's the fear of getting scarred again.

SPEAKER_01: 14:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 14:26

Yeah. So what was tell me someone's like, is there anything in your past like that scarred you that it took you a little bit of a hurdle to get over?

SPEAKER_01: 14:34

Let's see. Shall I go down the list?

SPEAKER_03: 14:38

So many. I mean, one I uh I went starting really young. I went to college on a Fulbright scholarship, had a high school sweetheart, and I stayed, I was supposed to go to LSU, but I I didn't. I went to Sam Houston, which was closer because I live in Houston, Texas, to stay close to my high school sweetheart freshman year, I think the end of second semester, she breaks up with me, and uh I don't study for finals and lose my scholarship. And so that was like one of many things. Uh when I was a when I was newly married, I lost my job and ended up getting my car repossessed. I mean, there's so many. There's so many.

SPEAKER_04: 15:21

So many, yeah. So then what keeps you motivated? Let's go there. What keeps you motivated to keep trying?

SPEAKER_03: 15:28

Hmm. What keeps me motivated? You know, honestly, looking back at my life, most of the times it was either a moment of intense pain, or I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Or back up against the wall that's like, you have to go. Were the two moments that were kind of like motivating for me in the in that moment. Either an intense pain. Like for instance, when I was doing uh an audition for Broadway, I was doing what I wanted to do, which was working as a musician, and I was doing it at Anaheim, and I was going to Disney every day to kind of do a singing musician thing. But I didn't see my kid at all. And I was like, I want to see my kid more because he was like two years old, and I would only see him sometimes on the weekends. And uh so I see this audition in backstage. And I tell my wife, if I go to this audition, I just feel like I'm going to get this. I went to this audition. It was one of those really, I guess, serendipitous moments. I didn't know from rent. I'd never been on a Broadway show. I just saw that it sat down somewhere, and so I could be home, you know, more often was my idea. And she goes, What are you talking about? I go, I I just feel like if I go to this audition, I'm gonna get this part. Would you be willing to move to New York? And she goes, Yeah, sure. And I go, no, no, no. I feel like I'm gonna get this. Would you be willing to move? And she goes, sure. So I go to this audition, I think it was like the same day. I walk in, and there are like five people in the audition room, which is rare ever. I'm like, and the lady asks me, Well, can you go in like a few minutes? I'm blown away because I'm thinking this is an audition for a Broadway show. I'm gonna have an hour or two to go and get some tea and relax and warm up. Long story short, I go to my car, warm up, like in the last next 10 minutes, come in, go to the audition room, do the audition, all that stuff. They take my number and you know, life goes on. A week later, they call me and they offer me the tour. And I'm like, Well, I don't want to do the tour because I'm gonna be away from my kid. And I came because I wanted to do you know something that sits down. And she says, the only thing that sits down is a Broadway show. And I go, Well, if that happens, then I'd love to do that. And she's like, Okay. I'll never forget it. She was like, Okay, you know, what are you talking about? You're turning down the tour. It's like, okay. A month later, she calls me and goes, Producers would like to see you in New York. And two months after that, I'm standing on a Broadway stage in my first role as Tom Collins. So, I mean, that's like a you know, a big but it was from a point of pain of I want to see my family more. I don't know how it's gonna work, but I gotta do something different than this.

SPEAKER_04: 18:23

Yeah, I gotta do something different. I think that's where some people get stuck in their emptiness life is they're like, but I loved being a parent, I loved being a mom, I love being a dad. Yeah, of course, it's amazing. And then they think that's all there is, especially if you were the primary caregiver. Yes. That's all there is. I don't see anything else. But you clearly saw, you saw that ad, and you clearly saw, I'm gonna get this role. Yeah, so what was it, right? About that. You were younger, you weren't, you know, but you still you had a child, they were they were young, you wanted to be more connected to them. But what was it about it that you were like, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna get it, and it's gonna be different for me.

SPEAKER_03: 19:09

You know, honestly, the thing that I've learned over time is that we have that power, all of us do, you know, and it's it's it's whether or not we're gonna give ourselves permission to go after it, because it's happened multiple times in looking back at life, and also with the people that I researched, they they made a decision, oftentimes from a place of pain or a place of wanting the place of wanting to change at 40, 45, 50, 60, 65, they were like, I want to do something else. And as soon as they made that decision and took action, they said everything starts to fall into place. Now, the thing that uh I also like to share tell people about is everything falls into place because we have the honeymoon stage where everything's going great. After the honeymoon stage always comes the are you sure, you know, stage where the you where the universe goes, I'm gonna throw this little thing in your way, and I'm gonna throw that in the way, and it's gonna get really hard. Are you still sure you want it? And I find if we can make it through the are you sure period, it's downhill sledding, as they say. It's but that's the toughest part.

SPEAKER_04: 20:24

Yeah, and I love the two like the this is building on itself. Scar power to are you sure? Yeah. What comes after that? Like, think about it. Scar power, are you sure? What comes next?

SPEAKER_03: 20:39

Yeah, yeah. For me, what comes next is all the the that's when like the whole thing, the heavens open up and the magic happens. It's kind of like one of my favorite speakers, Zig Ziggler, he talks about he goes, You gotta put something in here before you get something out there. You know, he's like, you've gotta pour water into the pump to prime it, and then you've got to pump really hard for a long time. And he said, if you stop pumping, the water goes all the way back down. So it's like if you keep pumping though, the water comes up and he goes after that, you just it's really easy to get a lot of water out of the well. And after that tough period is when it gets really easy to get the water out of the well.

SPEAKER_04: 21:24

I think that almost ties to parenting, right? It's like, right, you spend a lot of time priming the pump and getting yourself to be there, and then it drops back because they enter a new stage, and then it drops back again and they enter another new stage. So you're always continuing to prime the pump. And I make that point, folks, because you know how to do it. Oh my gosh. You know how to prime the pump, you just need to apply it to something else.

SPEAKER_01: 21:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 21:51

And it's funny because you end up parenting yourself, and it's like it's funny, it's like as I get older, you go, wait a minute, what would I tell my kid if he or she came to me with this concern that I can't do it because what would I tell them? You know? Exactly. That's exactly what I should be telling myself because they're listening to me, and it's like that that that information or that suggestion or that advice is still valid, and it's even more valid for myself.

unknown: 22:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 22:25

I love that. Yeah, the the validity of it is so powerful. That's right. If you're gonna tell your kids, give them advice. I saw something the other day that popped up on my social feed. It was like the true gift of being a parent is you know, just giving that one piece when you have another 40 pieces of advice to give in the moment. So it's ooh, what's the one piece of advice you would give yourself about moving forward from scar power to are you sure you want it? to ooh, here's this next piece, and what does that look like?

SPEAKER_03: 23:01

Yeah. If your kid came up to you, and that's I've had that moment a couple of times with mine. It's if your kid comes up to you and goes, you know, dad, I don't know if I can do whatever, would you say, Yeah, you probably shouldn't?

SPEAKER_01: 23:12

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04: 23:14

Yeah, kick it to the curb. Not gonna happen for you. Don't try that. Don't try that. Yeah, that happened where my wife and I used to work in a school when the kids went there. You know, we were long-time educators, the kids went through the school, and then my daughter became an educator and then a position opened. She's like, Do you think I should apply? It's like, why wouldn't you? I mean, come on. Why wouldn't you do it? Right, and that's I think the question that empty nessers need to ask them, ask themselves is like, why wouldn't you do it?

SPEAKER_03: 23:47

Yes, why wouldn't you write the book? What exactly? Exactly. I think the thing that gets a lot of us is like you said, the one giving ourselves permission and then also thinking that all these people are watching and judging, and they're not.

SPEAKER_04: 24:05

You know, yes, yeah. That's a big one. Go stand in front of the mirror. It's the only time you'll see the person who's judging you.

SPEAKER_03: 24:13

100%. That's the only person that's paying attention to. I always tell my kids, I was like, because they could they used to come to me in high school when they were, you know, worried about stuff. I go, Well, what's your best friend's name? And they would say, I don't know, Sarah, Damien, whatever. I'm like, okay, what were they wearing yesterday? I don't know. Exactly. That's how much they're paying attention to you. You can't even tell me what your best friend was wearing yesterday. So the idea that all these people are paying attention to every move you make is crazy because you're not even paying attention to your best friend yesterday. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 24:53

Yeah, yeah. It's such a great point. It's such a great point. What is the next book you have going?

SPEAKER_03: 24:59

You know, I don't know. Honestly, I'm gonna be honest, like this one has been I'm writing an album with this one because I want to tie my music in with this. This is the one that has been my big passion project for this step. I think the next step is really making sure that it reaches more people. And then I don't know what the next one is.

SPEAKER_04: 25:21

I mean, other than Scar Power. That's clearly the next that's clearly the next one after that.

SPEAKER_03: 25:25

Yes, definitely. Definitely. You know, the next one, my wife was saying, you know, when she read it, she was like, I feel motivated. Um, and maybe, you know, that's where that can come in. It's just I need for more, more like how to. And so maybe it's part two that kind of breaks down some of the steps that you can actually apply to your life. Because this one kind of goes into how to get clear on what the next steps would be, some examples of people who have done it, and kind of get you in the mode of, okay, now I'm gonna go out there and try some of these things and really get clear on what my mission's going to be for the second half, or what are my missions for the second half. Okay. So maybe book number two can be a how-to.

SPEAKER_04: 26:06

More how-to, more practical tips. What things have worked for you in your second chapter?

SPEAKER_03: 26:12

Well, the first thing that was really huge for me and really hard, surprisingly, aside from giving myself permission, was turning everything off. Like a walking meditation. By that I mean we're old enough to remember when we'd be in the car and there was no phone, and there was no, you know, if you turn the radio off and drove, it was like why like you rolled down the window because some of us had AC and some of us didn't. And it was like you and your thoughts. That was one of the biggest things that I was talking about, like just being quiet and being still, turning off the radio, turning off, you know, when you're at home, turning off phones and dings, and just allowing yourself to hear your own voice and your own thoughts.

SPEAKER_04: 27:02

That's so good. Have you ever read Stillness is the key, Ryan Halliday? I haven't back here. Yeah. Stillness is the key. So good. I have it. I have it. It's it's a reminder of what you're talking about. And he gives plenty of examples of how it goes. And this is it's a must read to just with everything we have going on, access to so much information. It's like, how do we just become still? That's how you figure out what's next.

SPEAKER_03: 27:31

Yeah, yeah. Because so many people are so many people, intentionally or unintentionally, are feeling your mind with thoughts and ideas and so much so that you forget to hear your own. And it's like the real true stillness and everything is in your own thoughts. That's that's where the answers are. We just never really often, I'm not gonna say never, but often never get quiet enough to hear them.

unknown: 27:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 27:59

Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. As someone who's an author, you you spend a lot of time thinking about books and you've written a couple. What's one thing you've learned about yourself in the process of writing books?

SPEAKER_03: 28:13

One thing I've learned about myself is uh the more you do, the better you become at doing something, the more you do anything, the you know, the better you become at doing that. And then also, I've learned that everyone, not just myself, but I think everyone should learn to trust that quiet voice that they hear, that quiet whisper. It's right 99.9% of the time.

unknown: 28:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 28:38

That quiet voice.

SPEAKER_04: 28:39

Yeah, the quiet voice. See, there's another book. Scarp and a quiet voice. I'm I'm just gonna throw ideas out if you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02: 28:49

Definitely.

SPEAKER_04: 28:50

You keep taking them, you keep taking them. What's something you've always wanted to do? You've done a ton in your life, right? What's the one thing you've always wanted to do, but you haven't done yet?

SPEAKER_03: 29:01

It's funny because the the cover is covered. I want to go to Ghana. I've never been to the African continent, and I want to go. I've been to, you know, Europe, I've been to Hawaii, I've been to Asia, I've been to Japan. And I want to go, I want to go see Ghana is like one thing that I want to do. Okay. Why Ghana specifically? I just have never been to the African continent. And it's like I feel like I want to it's funny because I think, you know, when you go to a place where it could be your ancestral hair uh origin, it's just a different grounding effect, you know, of of your life to like step out and see, you know, oh, like I remember my wife was she was like, she went to Scotland and she was like, um all the people there look like my brother. Imagine like how crazy that must be to like, you know, to step off and like, oh She looks like my mom, or she looks like my aunt, or she looks like my sister, and they're just like everywhere. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04: 30:06

The connection, yeah, the connectedness, if you will. Yeah. It's an I've never been to Ghana, I've have been to the African continent. It's like amazing the energy you feel different there. You know, it is there's a grounding to it for sure. So it's yeah. Where'd you go? So I was fortunate enough to climb Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, and then go on safari in Kenya as well. And just being connected to people who have just a different way of thinking and different lifestyle and different view on life and how important nature is.

unknown: 30:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 30:51

Right. Yeah. So what was the mountain like? Well, we've reflipped you're now interviewing me.

SPEAKER_02: 30:57

We've we flipped the script.

SPEAKER_04: 31:00

It was incredible. It's the only place where you can go and get all four types of climates in one climb. Yeah. So you start off in a rainforest with heat and humidity, and then you move into Moorland, and then the Arctic desert, and then the Arctic. Those are the four. Oh my gosh. Yeah. If you haven't done it, you can you know, you don't have to be a hiker, it's very accessible to do. So I throw that out there. Then you can write a book about that.

SPEAKER_02: 31:33

Oh yes. Oh my gosh. Definitely, definitely have to do that. Yeah. That is amazing. That sounds awesome.

SPEAKER_04: 31:40

It wasn't, it was it was amazing. But it I I just want to be an example of what's possible for people. Yes. Just like you're saying what's possible after 40.

SPEAKER_01: 31:49

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 31:51

Don't sit around and wait. Yeah. Don't wait to be involved in your kids' lives. Get involved in your own life.

SPEAKER_03: 31:57

Yes. Yes. And you know what's funny about that is they will learn from you doing it for yourself. It's like they often what you're what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 32:08

Yeah. Have any of your kids started to write a book?

SPEAKER_03: 32:12

No, no. No. I think my middle son might later on in life, because he started reading, and my daughter may. My older son might too. Because I mean he was the one we wrote it together, so maybe you know he'll go into his his own thing. But it's it's funny to see them repeating many things from youth in their journeys, you know. And so I'm like, if they're doing that now, imagine what they're gonna do when they're later and they see what I've done, you know, later.

SPEAKER_04: 32:39

Oh, repeating, I see what you're saying, repeating what you've done in their youth. Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 32:44

Got it. Yeah. You hear yourself from I'm sure you do this, you hear yourself coming out of their mouths all the time.

SPEAKER_04: 32:50

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it's it's also wise not to remind them that it sounds like you. So that they that's where you run into trouble. Yes, yes. Exactly. Exactly. So god, I've loved everything that we've talked about today. Like so many takeaways of going from the again, mentioned again the scar power and are you sure you want this? But before I let you go, Troy, what's your life motto right now?

SPEAKER_03: 33:20

You know what's funny? As soon as you said that, I think that popped in my head was the song from Rent, and that is No Day But Today. No day but today. It's a great song. You know, could can we worry about what happened in the past? Can we worry about how what happened in the future? We can, but it is always, as Eckhart Tolley says, it is always right now. It's never in the few past, it's never in the future, it is always right now. So if you can right now, you can always do what anything, anything that you want to do, give yourself permission and and take that step because now is all we have. Yeah, now we always have.

SPEAKER_04: 34:04

I yeah, I love that. It is such a powerful way to close the show and a good reminder to folks like nope, now is the time.

SPEAKER_01: 34:10

Now is the time.

SPEAKER_04: 34:11

Now is the time. So good. Joy Horn, thank you so much for being here on this empty nest life. I enjoyed our conversation, and I look forward to seeing what comes next from you.

SPEAKER_03: 34:21

Well, thank you. Yeah, it's been so much so much fun.

SPEAKER_00: 34:24

So much fun. Thank you. Are you ready to start living and enjoying your empty nest years? If so, head over to jasonramsden.com and click work with me to get the conversation started. This Empty Nest Life is a production of Impact One Media LLC, all rights reserved.