Speaker 1: 0:00

You want to be bored? Stay in your comfort zone. Don't try to stretch. You want to be passionate? Stretch yourself out Like why is it that people jump out of an airplane? If you challenge yourself, you'll attract support. If you stay in your comfort zone, you're going to attract challenges.

Speaker 2: 0:20

Welcome to this Empty Nest Life. Join Jay Ramsden as he leads you on a transformative journey through the uncharted seas of midlife and empty nesting. If you're ready to embark on this new adventure and redefine your future, you're in the right place. Here's your host, the Empty Nest Coach, Jay Ramsden.

Speaker 3: 0:39

Hey there, my Empty Nest friends. In today's episode I'm chatting with Dr Lise Janelle and while she helps high achieving athletes and entrepreneurs understand how tweaking their subconscious beliefs can show up as wins or losses in all areas of life, I thought, hmm, we can totally apply the work she does to your journey as an Empty Nester Because, when it comes down to it, our subconscious holds us all back. Whether you're a full-time mom, an involved dad, a working mom or a high-powered athlete, we're all just human, and being stuck well, that just plain sucks. So, Lise, welcome to this Empty Nest Life. I am thrilled to have you join me today.

Speaker 1: 1:16

Oh, thank you for having me. I look forward to conversing and exploring together.

Speaker 3: 1:23

Yes, what intrigued me most about your work is your heart freedom method, because I think if there's one thing empty nesters know is that their heart hurts when the kids leave home, and I imagine the people you work with might experience something similar in dealing with their own thoughts and feelings about things that come up for them. And, when it comes down to it, our belief about what's happening in our lives at any given moment drives that, and it's our subconscious that holds us back. Is that fair? Is that the work that you do?

Speaker 1: 1:52

Yes, whatever we have associated. We were speaking a little bit before and I was a competitive rower. Maybe you're an athlete, somebody is listening right now and working hard. It's painful, but if you associate it with joy, so you have a different experience. So we can associate joy to anything, even if it's painful. And so when you are an empty nester, it's like I have.

Speaker 1: 2:18

I've literally worked with thousands of people, so I have people who are empty nester and it's ah, ah. Finally I can have my girlfriend back, or my boyfriend back. We can be alone, we can have fun. Now, the responsibilities are out of the house, no crazies. And then I have the other people. It's dangerous for them. I've had clients come to see me because they started drinking or smoking too much pot.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Because there's this anxiety. What's the meaning of my life? And I think this is something that's super important. If you want, if you know that your kids are about to leave the house or they will leave in a couple of years, make sure that you don't make being a parent the center of who you are and your purpose in life. Being a great parent is part of the full picture, but it's not who you are Like.

Speaker 1: 3:09

For me, I had. My brother died when he was 21 years old in a car accident and the most painful thing it was painful losing my brother, but what was really painful was to see my mom and the pain she was experiencing because it was gone. And if my mom had made her whole sense of self being a mom and then he dies, well, what happened to her? She went naturally through a tough time but she came out of it actually quite wise. So I have a girlfriend. Her kids moved to Australia from Canada.

Speaker 1: 3:46

That's like about as far as you can be from each other, and so when you understand that you cannot make anything a representation of yourself for us, that I believe our mission in life is actually to bring the best out of ourself in all the different areas of life familial, career, financial, health, social, our environment, like our spiritual life, all of these different areas of our life. When we focus on bringing the best out of each area of life, then even if the kids leave, then we're happy. We're happy for them, because it's so important not to need your kids but to love your kids. Not to need your kids but to love your kids and I find that's a big challenge If somebody needs their kids to feel like they're somebody and the kids leave. It creates drama.

Speaker 3: 4:43

Yeah, I love that you bring up the point about bringing your identity up into being a parent instead of a person, because I talk a lot about that on this show, and so how do you help people through your methods to unwind that, or what's some advice you could give them about that?

Speaker 1: 4:59

When I work with people most people, a lot of people listening to this. You might have read the book Thinking Grow Rich or the Secret and all that. So people become pretty clear that they need to know what they want to create to be able to create it. The challenge for a lot of people is that they actually create a purpose for their life that's based on their head, not on their heart.

Speaker 1: 5:27

Okay, tell me more so as a human being, we can live from our mind, from our gut or from our heart and the power really like if you think of the time you look back in your life when you felt the happiest you're going to feel it it was moments of connection, connection yourself, connection in the moment, connection with a person, connection with your career, connection with music, connection like when we are present. So that's not something that happens in the head, it's something that happens in our being and I don't know how deep I want to go here.

Speaker 3: 6:05

I think it's important for people to know, because the heart is our center.

Speaker 1: 6:10

Yes, and so the first part is clarity of your goals in life, but the second part is you absolutely need to know that 90 to 95% of what you do is actually pre-programmed inside of you. So you think you're running the show but you're not, and most people have not aware like they feel unlucky or they feel frustrated. I'm following the recipe. Why is it not working? And if you're a driven person, it's even worse, because you do everything right and you get the opposite results to what you want. Then you go, ah, and then you try again After a while. You start to get depressed.

Speaker 1: 6:54

Then that's often when people need their kids to make them happy, or they need to do sports, or they need to eat, or they to drink, or whatever we're going to look for on the outside. So from working with thousands of people, I started to discover some patterns, and what I see is that there are two stages to human development. The first stage is the unconscious, asleep, infantile stage, and we all go through that. I also call that the boot camp. And then we have the second part, which I call the conscious, awake and mature stage, with a nickname creating heaven on earth.

Speaker 3: 7:39

I like that.

Speaker 1: 7:40

Boot camp, heaven on earth. So the main difference between the bootcamp and heaven on earth is that we're not conscious, we're kind of responding to what's happening on the outside world and we are letting it give us a sense of our worth. So when I work and do the subconscious work with my clients, I always like the two things I test all the time. The first one is I love myself, and the second part is admitting their dreams and aspirations. If you were looking at this, usually I have a yin and yang prop. So the yin. If you imagine the yin, the dark side of the Tao symbol. The yin is the female principle of listening. So whether you're a man or a woman, you have this. So your heart wants you to know two things. The first thing your heart wants you to know is you're worthy of love, and the second thing it wants you to do is admit your dreams and aspirations. And guess what, when you're in stage one, when the world responds to you the way you like it, you think you're worthy of love, and when it doesn't, you create stories. So that's how it starts For many people it starts right from the get-go.

Speaker 1: 9:01

Why? Because when you are born, love has to come from the outside. If it doesn't, you're going to die. So if you cry and mommy or daddy or whoever comes, come, you feel like, oh, I'm king or queen of the world, I'm amazing, I'm worthy of love, I can command the world, and the world comes to me, and so you have this belief that you'll be able to create a great life. That's why it's important to know about your subconscious mind, because if you believe that because mom was in the room and they put you in the nursery and you cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cry and nobody came, what's wrong with me? And then when I cry too, much and nobody comes.

Speaker 3: 9:51

I stop asking for what I want. So good, yes, keep going.

Speaker 1: 9:53

I love this so it is impossible. Like people who feel, like people who are in their ego are all not me. I don't have any of that.

Speaker 2: 10:02

It is impossible.

Speaker 1: 10:03

It is absolutely impossible. You did not create stories about yourself. Why? Because your subconscious mind is there to keep you alive and if it associates a behavior or a response with danger or pain, it will hold you back, or pain it will hold you back.

Speaker 1: 10:29

For example, I was in Chicago and I was the keynote speaker and I had 350 coaches from North America and Europe and things. So coaches are supposed to be all about success and doing what I do. If you're in front of me, I'll do muscle testing and I will prove to you that what you think you want, subconsciously you don't want it. So I offered if you want to line up, I'm going to test you on being ready, willing and able to be successful. And after my keynote I had at least a hundred coaches lined up. It was like intensive and out of a hundred I only had one person that was congruent with wanting to be successful.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Why? Because subconsciously, people have associated being successful with people resenting you, being jealous of you, hurting other people's feelings. So most people have a set point where they'll be able to accept success because it doesn't threaten their family of origin, like your rank. All of these things I love, love, love, love empowering people, because once you have access to the Heart Freedom Method, it's like having a tool in your back pocket where you can whenever you feel blocked and people know it. It's like you go forward and you feel there's something holding me back. I'm not doing like the three clues. You have a subconscious belief working against you. Number one you know what needs to be done, but you're not doing it.

Speaker 3: 12:07

The famous procrastination.

Speaker 1: 12:08

And when you're a driven person, that becomes a problem because you go ha, look at me, even though I know I need to be doing this, I'm not doing it. Now you get upset with yourself because you know better. Now you start beating yourself down, which decreases your self-worth, which makes it harder for you to be successful. The second clue is you do everything right, but it gives you the opposite. No, you do everything right, but it feels like drudgery. You have a subconscious ability working against you and it's feeling inner resistance. And the third one is you do everything right but you get the opposite results. Why? Because the subconscious mind thinks it's going to be dangerous. Ie, being successful will make me alone that type of thing. So what each and every one needs to know is you need to be clear on where you're going from your heart, not from your head. And then the yang part, the yin and the yang. So the yin is about listening to your heart, which wants you to know you're worthy of love. Second thing it wants you to admit your dreams and aspiration. Then it's about organizing your time to give your heart what it wants. That's all we need to be happy, I can guarantee you if you do this every day of your life, you'll feel more and more joy. But why is it we don't do it? Because of this story. I saw it around everywhere. My dream, my goal, is to have at least one person per family who knows how to do the heart freedom method so that you can use it with your kids, with your spouse, like whenever you get stuck and you watch one of the three things opposite results, procrastinating, feeling like drudgery and you go and like.

Speaker 1: 13:52

I'll give you a personal example. I have a book. I'm writing a book about my method with Jack Canfield, the coauthor of the chicken soup for the soul series, and the book is almost done and it's about to come out. Okay, I was having a really hard time sleeping because I'm driven. I'm working on it, finishing all kinds of things, and I'm driven, but I couldn't sleep. I would fall asleep at 1 and wake up at 5, and I was exhausted and I'm thinking it's hormones. Then I go please do the heart-feet-on-method instead. So it went back.

Speaker 1: 14:27

When I was born, I was stuck. I don't know why, but they put my mom asleep. So I was stuck there and I thought I was going to die. So when the Pavlovian bell was ringing my subconscious mind had associated coming from one state of being to another state of being with death. So even though writing this book, I'm excited about it and I want it, subconsciously it was going danger, danger, you're going to die.

Speaker 1: 14:59

That's why it is impossible. It is impossible that we don't have any of these things and it makes me sad because most people don't have any idea why some of the things they do work and why some of the things don't work. But there's a tool and that's why I'm passionate to speak about that. It can be so silly, like last week I was working with this client and she created a story that she couldn't get what she wants in life because I think it was Easter time and she had asked for chocolate and she got chocolate, but it was hollow chocolate. Yeah, she could get some of what she wants in life, not the full thing.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Like, we create stories when we're in stage one, but I believe that stage one is actually very important. The bootcamp you were born into is powerful because it drives you. It drives you to places you would not be able to go otherwise and because I believe that the natural state of a human being is to be successful and happy, because I believe our essence is love. It's who we are. So the good news is, if each and every one of us, our essence is love, we can all go back in there. The only thing that happens is we create stories that make it nuts. So our job is to let go of the stories, to express our full potential.

Speaker 3: 16:26

And parents, I think, create a lot of stories right. And parents, I think, create a lot of stories right. Either they believe they weren't a good parent or they didn't teach their kids all the things they needed to teach them before they left home. Or they create stories on why their children aren't reaching out or aren't connecting or aren't being involved. And all those stories are built out of fear fear of the unknown or fear of what comes next for them. So how does that tie back into the heart method? I know your method says, okay, let's move from fear, because being uncomfortable with comfortable things is how you move forward from fear, but trying to live from our hearts instead sounds like it's challenging for people. What does that look like?

Speaker 1: 17:09

It's actually pretty simple. What does that look like when you know where you're going? So that's why it's important. Like I have a book I call I wrote this called Conversation with the Heart, and basically you need to have a mission for your life. You need to know why you're here, who you are, why you're here, where are you going.

Speaker 1: 17:38

And then it's about taking action steps and seeing which one works and which one doesn't work. Then you do the heart freedom. And now you can take that step, and I have a peer review study that's going to come out, and what most people have discovered from doing this work on a regular basis is that it creates a sense of hope for their future. They know it's not random that they have control over their life, and the control that we have is to listen to our heart or not. And once you listen to your heart, even if your kids are left, I can guarantee you'll never be bored. You will never be bored because every day, if you want to live from your heart, your job is to bring the best out of yourself and all the eight environments of the self. You're going to be busy until you take your last breath.

Speaker 3: 18:35

I can hear people listening to this right now and their minds are going. But, Lise, my purpose was my kids.

Speaker 1: 18:42

I know, but that's not a purpose, but that's what they think.

Speaker 3: 18:46

So how do we help them move through that thought? But that's what they think. So how do we help them move through that?

Speaker 1: 18:49

thought it's good because it made you want to be a good parent. But I can guarantee you it's not like we talked a bit before, like needing your kids to give you stuff. Can you imagine the pressure it puts on your kids if they sense that, oh my goodness, my parents, I'm the center of their universe and if I mess up or if I don't do the right things, I'm going to destroy them? That's not loving your kids. One of my blessings, my mom. She lived in Quebec and I live in Toronto. She was eight hours away. My mom never, ever, pressured me in being her center of happiness ever. She always left me the freedom of wanting to be my pure essence.

Speaker 1: 19:39

And my worst clients I can tell you parents listening to my worst clients are the clients whose parents try to cocoon them too much because they're not able to be courageous and to live an amazing life. You need courage and I have a corny story that I like to use. It's a perfect corny story and it's like the scientist is observing a butterfly coming out of a cocoon and it's a huge struggle. It takes hours and hours. So to be nice to the butterfly cuts the cocoon open to make it easy. Because when I was a kid, life was tough and I'm going to be a better parent than my parent. Therefore, I'm going to make my kid's life easy, guess what? Because the butterfly has nothing to struggle against. The wings are weak, it can never fly and it dies like that. So, whatever challenge you had when you were a kid, it made your wings stronger. And if you're loving of your kids, you need to believe in them and you need to let them be scared, because if you don't teach them to get out of their comfort zone, why should I do anything that's uncomfortable? Because my parents are going to rescue me. Those are my worst clients, because they're unable to get what they want. So I have clients that ask me what do you think I can have this that I want? And I say, if you have an intense desire and you're courageous, willing to do the work, yeah, I am convinced. I am convinced that each and every one of us if you're a football player and you want to be a prima ballerina, that's not really your heart speaking I am convinced that each and every one of us, we have within our heart desires that are specific, just for us, that are there calling us to bring our essence into the world and if you're willing to listen to your heart, do the work, know you're worthy of love and then admit your dreams and aspirations and then get going to make it happen.

Speaker 1: 21:44

This is how you live a passionate life. You want to be bored? Stay in your comfort zone. Don't try to stretch. You want to be passionate, stretch yourself out.

Speaker 1: 21:55

Why is it that people jump out of an airplane? Because it's really out of their comfort zone. And when we land on the grass, like hee-haw, I made it, I didn't die. So that's a bit too extreme. You wouldn't want to be living so much out of your comfort zone all the time. But if, consciously, you decide to create your own heaven on earth, you sit there and you create a statement of purpose for your life, then you can stretch yourself and that's how you feel alive.

Speaker 1: 22:28

One of my mentors says when you're green, you grow, when you're ripe, you rot. When you're green, you grow, when you're ripe, you rot. And most of my clients are actually between the age of 45 to 65. There are people I guess I attract that kind of people like people want to live life, not just an ordinary life, but an extraordinary life. And the only difference between someone who lives an ordinary life and an extraordinary life is the ability to take the right actions based on their heart. And this is how you feel, like hee-haw, I'm alive, I'm blessed. And then your kids are not worried about you because they left home and they go. Oh, look at mom and dad. They seem happy. I don't have to worry about them.

Speaker 3: 23:18

Yeah, I think it's important for us to talk a little bit about too, like if that's theirs. My people sometimes need some inspiration, right, because they feel so stuck their identity was so wrapped up as a mom or a dad that how do you bring inspiration into your daily life and kind of what role does that play if you're creating this conscious life choices, because I think that's what you're hitting at is like now that the kids have left home, oh, I have to make some conscious decisions about my life.

Speaker 1: 23:48

One carrot. You know the stage one is the stick and stage two consciously is the carrot. So the carrot. If you're really driven by your kids, you can decide. I'm going to be an example to my kids on how to live a great life. You can become a role model. Your physical duties are done, but now you can be an example of what it takes to live an amazing life.

Speaker 3: 24:16

So take the time to ask yourself Pardon me, be an example of what's possible for your kids.

Speaker 1: 24:23

Yeah, yeah, like I said, like those of you who are listening right now, close your eyes, feel what it feels like when you think you worry about your parents. How good do you feel? And think about how you feel when you feel your parents are happy. Which one do you want? You want to be a parent that inspires your kids, makes them feel safe. My mom and dad are okay. They don't need me. I don't need to feel guilty that I'm pursuing my life, all of those things. Yeah, it's important to spend time to ask yourself who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going?

Speaker 1: 25:01

I have my book, conversation with the Heart. I have a client in Madrid and he said Lise, your book is all meat, no potatoes. When people come and see me, they have my book. It's underlined, earmarked and everything Like. It's solid, it's not fluff. If you read my book, you will get a really good insights as to what it takes to live a really good life. I also have my extreme freedom weekend where you spend two days just learning about yourself. You absolutely like.

Speaker 1: 25:37

I have this analogy. Let's say, I give you a map, I give you a car, money for the gas, but I don't tell you where to go. Most people live life that way they have no clue where they're going and they're zigzagging, going all over the place. And they spend too much time on social media, watching TV, doing all the things to try to numb the anxiety they have because they're not listening to the heart.

Speaker 1: 26:04

You want to be happy. You definitely need to be in touch with your heart. That you are in touch with your heart, that you are in touch with your heart when you're able to sit quiet without having the need to get up and have to go running or drink a beer or a whole bag of chocolate cookies. When you're connected into your heart, you can actually feel ah, I'm grateful. If you're able to do this, that means you're connected with your heart, you're being guided and it's so nice just to stop. Sometimes, when you're busy living this amazing life, then you go. Ah, I'm grateful. You don't feel panicked because you're not filling up the time with something.

Speaker 3: 26:49

Yeah, I know a lot of people who listen to the show, or in my social feed they often say I don't know what comes next, I don't know how to answer the questions what now and what's next for me and I feel like that's just subconsciously blocking you. So what would you recommend for people who are dealing with subconscious blocks like that or some self-sabotaging beliefs, to help them move forward?

Speaker 1: 27:12

Yeah again, there are two parts to knowing what you want in life. One is the conscious and the other one is the subconscious. And you're right when I work with people sometimes and I'm really willing and able to know my purpose or what I want to do with my life, a lot of people are afraid that what if I admit what I want but I can't get it?

Speaker 3: 27:34

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 27:35

So that's why it's important to do the subconscious work on this, because, relatively speaking, your mind that wants to know is the size of a football, but your subconscious mind that's there to keep you alive, the football field. So who do you think is going to win? The subconscious? So that's part of you need to. That's why people need to really know about the subconscious. So that's part of you need to. That's why people need to really know about the subconsciously. If the people, whenever someone feels like they're being blocked somewhere, whether it's about knowing what they want to do in life, just know that it's not a coincidence, it's because, at some level, it's safer for you not to know.

Speaker 3: 28:15

Oh, always yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:16

Yeah, always.

Speaker 3: 28:17

Yeah, it feels comfortable to be safe. Exactly.

Speaker 1: 28:21

That's not a comfort zone that's why it's important to be courageous. So that's one part of the equation. The second part is I know I've been teaching my extreme freedom weekend since 1992, so I know because I've done this, probably with a thousand people most people, like 99.9% of the people have no idea why they're here.

Speaker 1: 28:50

What do you mean? Why they're here, like on this planet? On this planet, yeah, what am I supposed to do? The kids are gone. That was my whole raison d'etre. It's like what am I supposed to do now? Raison d'être it's like what am I supposed to do now?

Speaker 1: 29:03

And if, again, if you thought that your raison d'être was to be a parent, and then your kids, because you love them, you want them to be the best version of themselves, what do you do? That's why, if your kids have not left home yet, I highly encourage you to take the time to find out more about who you are, why you're here, where you're going to really connect with your heart. There are only four things that live in the heart. One is love, the other one is gratitude, the other one is inspiration and wisdom Love, gratitude, inspiration and wisdom and the more we have gratitude and love for who we are, what we do and what we have, the more access we have to inspiration, which then gives us insights as to what we should be doing next the inspiration piece, I think is where most people who listen to the show probably struggle with right it's like where do I find?

Speaker 1: 29:56

inspiration for what comes next yeah, and it will only happen again if you take the time to love who you are, if you connect with yourself, because if you were speaking with me, I'm sure that's happened to you. You go to a cocktail party and you start speaking to somebody, and then they just turn around and look around while you're speaking. It doesn't feel so good, does it? Your heart is speaking to you all the time, saying hey, let's do this. But most people don't listen. And if you and I were in a long-term relationship and I don't listen when you speak, you probably feel like I don't care about you. You might feel depressed. Most people feel depressed because they don't spend time connecting with their own heart. But let's say, we talk and you'd mentioned to me that you like going to Thai restaurants and the next time we get together I made a reservation to a Thai restaurant. You probably feel a little velour. You would go, wow, not only did she listen to me, but she did something for me. So when you start listening to your heart and you take actions to fulfill your heart's desire, then you feel grateful and you'll get more and more inspiration.

Speaker 1: 31:18

There's an expression that I learned from one of my mentors, dr John Demartini, when you do what you love, it leads you to what you love. When you do what you love, it leads you to what you love. And love doesn't mean like this is something beautiful in English that we don't have in French. There's a huge difference between liking and loving. Like, you probably dislike changing poopy diapers, but you learn to love it, otherwise your kids would die. So loving means I'm willing to do what it takes to get what I want out of it. So for me, for example, my background I was a chiropractor. I was a holistic chiropractor. I love being a chiropractor and in 1988, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was given nine months to live. That was three weeks before my sister's wedding. A week after my sister's wedding, my 21-year-old brother died in a car accident and then, within a month of that, my eight-year relationship to the man I thought I was going to marry ended and it was like ow, ow, ow.

Speaker 3: 32:35

A lot, that's a lot.

Speaker 1: 32:36

That was a lot, a lot, that's a lot, that is a lot. So, to survive the pain in my stage one, my bootcamp, to survive the pain, I went on a quest to understand what does it take to live a great life. So I was driven to run away from pain and I'm sitting here speaking with you today because of this challenge that happened in my life, because I went all right. It's not if these things are going to happen to me, it's when these things happen. How do I live life? So I don't go flat like a pancake. So for you, listening to this, if your kids have left again, ask yourself who am I? Why am I here? How do I live a great life?

Speaker 1: 33:30

I have a definition of love and it's pretty useful, pretty practical. I'm a pretty common sense, down-to-earth type of person. So for me, my definition of love is wanting the best for another being while respecting your needs. Want, wanting the best for another being while respecting your needs. Wanting the best for another being while respecting your needs. So if your kids are grown up and they need to go to Australia, when you live in America, you want the best for them. But what are your needs now? Because you cannot be selfish and want to tie them to you, even though it's better for them to leave. But that's when wanting the best for you is truly. It's about you spending the time to look at who you are Like.

Speaker 1: 34:13

If you're a good parent this is my vision of a good parent you have a baby and you look at this baby and you go all right, how am I going to help bring the best out of this baby? Because you can have twins and one twin is going to be a musician and the other one going to be a football player. So you look at them differently and you strive to coax the best out of them. As an adult, nobody's in charge of doing this for you. You cannot wait for the divine being an angel, your spouse, to come and say oh, you're amazing.

Speaker 1: 34:54

How are we going to bring the best out of you? It's your job. Your job is to do the work If you challenge yourself. You know the movie the Secret and the law of attraction and all that. I actually got to be on stage and teach this to the people from the movie the Secret and I got a real kick out of doing that. So I will give you in a nutshell the true law of attraction. So I will give you in a nutshell the true law of attraction.

Speaker 2: 35:26

If you challenge yourself you'll attract support.

Speaker 1: 35:28

If you stay in your comfort zone, you're going to attract challenges. So nobody has more pain and pleasure, more pleasure than pain. We all have support and challenges. The only thing we can do is the form it comes in. So if you decide to challenge yourself and go, you know what? My kids are gone.

Speaker 1: 35:49

But I'm going to challenge myself to bring the best out of myself. I'm going to do the work, I'm going to read books, I'm going to do my thing. Then you're going to feel happy. But if you just feel sorry for yourself, you want your kids to come home, you can't wait for the weekends when they come to visit and that's all you do. You put your life on suspense. You're going to be miserable. So the only thing we can all do and I've asked this, I've asked this like it was interesting, like a month ago one of my clients that I was teaching this support and challenge thing, he actually created a movie where in that movie the kids had been so supported that they created like hell on earth for all the kids and I got to be on stage and talk to the people. That was cool because my work got to pack more people and that's what I always. I asked them like raise your hand if you've never had huge challenges. And guess what? Nobody raised their hand.

Speaker 3: 36:57

Nobody raised their hand.

Speaker 1: 36:59

No. So if you're smart human being, you're not going to try to create only pleasure. You're going to learn how to use support and challenge to fulfill your purpose. So that's our job is to know what is this you want to create. And when it's nice having a nice spouse, when you're cuddling in the morning and you don't want to get up, it's nice. But if you did that every day, you wouldn't feel your heart, it would get mad at your spouse because all of a sudden you feel it can't fulfill you anymore because you're not doing the stuff that's good for yourself. So it's important to understand if I eat a whole chocolate cake, even though I like it, it's not going to be good for me. So that's when you're conscious. You learn not to get stuck in pleasure. And then, when you face a challenge, then you ask yourself how am I going to use this to my advantage? So you learn to use both sides and life becomes an adventure. So you learn to use both sides and life becomes an adventure. I haven't been bored in years.

Speaker 3: 38:04

I love that Life becomes an adventure and I think that's a really good way for us to even wrap up. Today is like life becomes an adventure when you start to challenge yourself because the support finds you in those challenges. Is that fair?

Speaker 1: 38:20

Yep, exactly, if you challenge yourself to follow your heart, you'll get lucky. If you stay in your comfort zone, you feel drama happens to you. I call that the baseball bat.

Speaker 3: 38:31

I love that. Challenge yourself, the support will come. And if you don't know, if your brain says I don't know, look at your heart. I think is what the culmination of our conversation today has been Look inward and you'll be able to move forward.

Speaker 1: 38:48

While knowing that your subconscious mind is something you need to be aware of and that there are tools. I have a tool called the Heart Freedom Method, and if everybody equipped themselves with the conscious and the subconscious part and is courageous and follows their heart, that's how you have success. I can give you a great life.

Speaker 3: 39:09

Perfect, lise. Thank you so much. I loved our conversation today because I hit on a lot of topics I cover on this show for people, but you wrapped it up in such a nice little bow topics I cover on this show for people, but you wrapped it up in such a nice little bow. I hope people like really listen and take this to literally, take this to heart. We were talking about it is look inward and that's how you're going to find your next path Now that the kids are grown and flown. I really appreciate you being here today.

Speaker 1: 39:35

It was my pleasure. Thank you for having me and helping me bring message of hope to people. I love when I see the sparkle in people's eyes because they get it, they can actually live a great life.

Speaker 2: 39:47

Are you ready to start living and enjoying your empty nest years? If so, head over to jasonramsdencom and click work with me to get the conversation started. This Empty Nest Life is a production of Impact. One Media LLC. All rights reserved.