Speaker 1: 0:00

I think the hard part is not to feel defeated, because it is hard, especially if you've been active your whole life and then, all of a sudden, you're complaining about sciatica, like your grandmother did or whoever, and you just have to acknowledge that it is something that happened. But not to give up and not to just throw in the towel and not move. Stay true to the perception that you are still strong. It's just you're going to have to work around something.

Speaker 2: 0:29

Welcome to this Empty Nest Life. Join Jay Ramsden as he leads you on a transformative journey through the uncharted seas of midlife and empty nesting. If you're ready to embark on this new adventure and redefine your future, you're in the right place. Here's your host the Emptiness Coach, jay Ramston.

Speaker 3: 0:48

Krista Daly, the Emptiness Wellness on Instagram. As we start to talk I don't know if this is true for you, but the more we talk about it social, it's like people start to come into our feed and that's how I found you. So it was like well, I got to get Krista on the show and have a conversation with her.

Speaker 1: 1:05

Yeah, it's. It's amazing how many of us are coming out of the woodworks right now, it seems, where no one ever talked about this before, right.

Speaker 3: 1:12

Right, yeah, no one. And I think there's like I was having this conversation with somebody yesterday. It was like people talk about like what it's like to go from elementary to middle and middle and high school and you get married and jobs, but nobody talks about, like when the kids leave to retirement, like there's this gap that nobody talks about.

Speaker 1: 1:29

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:30

And so I'm. I'm glad that you're here, because you have a very uh important at least for my audience, I feel like a very important bent on this time. Right, you call yourself uh, you know, on your, on your website, you call yourself a wellness warrior. How did that come to be?

Speaker 1: 1:48

I think we all get banged up and tossed around a little bit as we get. I mean, I'm 57 now and things happen and I just I feel like I just can see through to the other side and and kind of take that battle as a learning experience. So in 2010, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. So my kids were really little and I was in the middle of trying to do as much as I could about about sharing wellness, because I had just graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and it was. It was a learning experience, Absolutely, and I wanted people to know that they were stronger than what they believed they were. Like, if I can handle this, then you can handle what's coming your way. It's all about perspective and looking at what really matters to you at that moment and and really staying true to it, rather than, especially now where you get sides, you fall down these dark holes of comparison to other people and you know, with social media and so on.

Speaker 1: 2:54

I just feel like people really can be stronger than they think they are, and that goes for any age, so it really doesn't matter. I think I can say I've inspired my kids to do the same, or they pulled themselves up, you know, when things were a little bit down, but yeah, that's, that's that's where I came from and I remain there to this day.

Speaker 3: 3:16

Yeah, I like that You're stronger than you know, or you stronger than you think. You are talking about how your kids like you've. You've demonstrated that for them and they've taken that on a little bit. What does that mean for you right now, today, that you're stronger than you think you are?

Speaker 1: 3:32

Oh, that's a good question. Um, I think for right now, being um this age and you know things you kind, I kind of thought I was going to be removed from the usual people who talk about aging and that things changing in your body and things just like like I just thought I was. You know, I've been schooled in this for so many years. I know about all the supplements I know about you know how to run tests. I know how all the supplements I know about. You know how to run tests, I know how to interpret tests.

Speaker 1: 4:06

But when you actually are in it, there are times that you have to adjust.

Speaker 1: 4:13

There are days where you may feel like you're 80 years old because something's going on. You have some inflammation, you maybe are a weekend warrior and you did too much over the weekend and now you're limping. I think the hard part is is not to feel defeated, because it is hard, like especially if you've been active your whole life and then all of a sudden, you know you're complaining about sciatica, like you know your grandmother did or whoever, and you just have to acknowledge that it is something that happened, but not to give up and not to just throw in the towel and not move, or, you know, go for the quick fix. You know, and there's nothing wrong with the quick fix, believe me, I understand. But to stay, stay true to the perception that you are still strong. It's just you're going to have to work around something. So, in other words, like even two years ago, as far as like my workouts, they were a lot more, let's just say, intense okay because I could do it.

Speaker 1: 5:11

And now things have happened where it's not that mine aren't intense, they're just they've been tweaked a little to work things with more intention, to work things with sets, a set time that you just don't need to go past.

Speaker 1: 5:29

You don't need to go past what you think you need to, because maybe you had a little ego when you were growing up and you like to push yourself because you love competition, even with yourself. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and reassess and figure out okay, so if I can't do, let's say I can't run because I have a toe that has no cartilage left in it anymore. I'm not going to think walking is for babies. I'm going to adjust and use this walking as just another part of the whole picture. And I can go on and on as far as different things that that can apply to picture, and I can go on and on as far as different things that that can apply to. But I'm just saying, instead of seeing it as I'm a failure, I'm old. Now you just have to reassess and not judge yourself that you are weak.

Speaker 3: 6:14

Okay. So I know, like I know my audience is thinking this question right now, because I am. It's like what does that look like? Like, what is your workout? You said you back down, but what does it look like?

Speaker 1: 6:25

Well, like, let's say, I was doing deep squats, like deep squats, so like we call it. I don't want to say it, but you get your butt down all the way down so your calves are touching your glutes, so something like that. With weight I was doing that, no problem. I have since had because I have a toe issue that led to a knee issue that I went to PT like I'm okay now, but I just know to stay away from something that that's intense and was pretty impressive for my age, and now we just go to the bench instead. We sit to the bench. I don't go all the way down, or maybe I was doing.

Speaker 1: 7:06

It's very, very common for midlife women to be doing a lot of the high intensity interval, the HIIT workouts. What I have learned since going, like you know, perimenopause to postmenopause, I've learned that once a week if that is fine for me, that's it Because of the cortisol levels being elevated, naturally, anyway, a lot of women are really fighting with sleep, so they wake up exhausted, but they go to bed wide awake, so we call that tired and wired, not keeping these stress levels high. So, in other words, if you're going to be doing the HIIT workouts and a lot of them are doing it fasted, it's going to actually do more damage than help because we're just staying in that stress state. And when you're staying in a stress state in midlife and post-menopause, perimenopause, you end up not being able to get the gains you're looking for. So there's a whole. This goes on and on and on.

Speaker 1: 8:12

If I can't make the gains and I'm doing all the work and I'm not what people, most women, want to lose weight, which is actually one of the worst things you can have a goal for, I tell people, I tell women, to flip the switch. Flip the switch and be more cognizant on let's build muscle instead, Because if you're going to build muscle, then that is going to improve so much of your life. It's going to improve your mood, it's going to improve your muscle, which, when you build muscle, you end up doing this swap because fat does no longer. Fat will normally slide in after the age of 30, we lose muscle every year, so fat naturally takes that place, Unless you're doing resistance training to build that muscle you're going to have, you're going to have a battle if you are in constant stress. So you want to build the muscle instead of.

Speaker 1: 9:01

Let's stop the talk about taking away and getting smaller. As women, you need to build the muscle so that when you are older, if you ever look at the statistics for women with broken hips, it's frightening. So, no more frailty. This is my goal at this point. It's longevity.

Speaker 1: 9:17

It's not about an image anymore. It's about staying strong so that I can be there and be independent and have the bone health I mean. It's it's just kind of a simple thing. Once you flip that switch to being like I don't care that I have these, like you know, a few bulges. I want to be strong. So now your body is thinking it's okay to eat a little more.

Speaker 1: 9:42

We were in such this bird diet for so long and you know, in the 80s we grew up looking at Cindy Crawford and you know all Kate Moss and the thin models, and that's why I still have so many women who weigh themselves several times a day and they just are tied to that number on the scale and I say it doesn't matter. I mean it matters in some way. But there are other indicators that you can look at, such as, you know, these in these, in body scans that people are doing. You can look at your waist hip ratio. You can take a tape measure and just measure waist once a month. That's it, Like you don't need to be a slave to the scale.

Speaker 3: 10:17

I love that. That's so good. Like I even see that with my clients when we're talking about that thing, I tell them it's the scale, because it's just a number. And then if that number isn't what you want it to be, then that drives your emotions and then that creates stress in the body and then you were going to want to eat more and get out of whack with what you're trying to accomplish, all because of a number. So I love that. And the strength piece is so key. I saw that in my mom, you know, when she's very frail at even at 85, she's been frail her whole life but she had like a little pelvic stress fracture and it just it came from something simple as just turning the wrong way because she didn't have the stability anywhere or the muscle mass anywhere. So that's so good. I love that You're. That's a great message for people. You know it was like building strength is key.

Speaker 1: 11:05

Yeah, I don't think there's no more room anymore to be thinking that muscle resistance training is just for guys like we're so past that. But there are a lot of people women that think they should still be doing like aerobics or running on a treadmill or biking, and it does like that's fine. This is what I tell people. That's fine for your mental health, that's fine for it feels good to move. If you can run and you love it, then do that, but let's not overdo it where it's too much stress on your body.

Speaker 3: 11:34

Yeah, such a good thought. Such a good thought what's what's motivating you right now in life?

Speaker 1: 11:40

I think, just to feel good. Just to feel good, I mean, I was a gymnast, so I have, like, back issues, I have ankle issues and I've learned to, you know, eat the right way, so that's anti-inflammatory. I've tried to focus on getting my stress levels down because, as much as, like I did, I ran my tests and I said this is wrong, I'm not stressed, I'm not a stressed person, I love not stressed. I'm not a stressed person, I love my life. But you actually see your data come in on your cortisol, like your, four times during the day. They'll test it and you're going wow, I guess maybe my brain doesn't ever shut off.

Speaker 1: 12:20

So what I work on right now is like two times a day to reset, just to reset, even if that's like A seven minute. I listened to a meditation that's fantastic in the afternoon for me before like the dinner time, and then, you know, at night just resting and like no blue, no screens. You know it's hard, right, when you're coaching people, but there have to be some boundaries that we put in there. So I don't know if I just answered your question, but I that's what I focus on Just feeling good and being there to live my you know best life and and be happy.

Speaker 3: 12:57

Yeah, no, I asked you what. What motivates you right now and if motivating you is, is keeping the boundaries, to kind of make sure that you stay healthy and that you keep your cortisol levels down right, keep the stress down in your body, like that's a great message as well. It's like how do you live your life? To prolong your life? Like people talk about your physical age right, there's your physical age, your mental age and there's also your health age as well, and I think that's the goal is to have a health age that is lower than your actual, you know, year's age. Like that's the goal. So you would drop something. There is like eating the right way. Yeah, what does that mean?

Speaker 1: 13:37

I mean, I basically like my husband and I, like he has turned. You know, it's so funny because sometimes I catch him. He's a walking encyclopedia of health and I I don't want to think that I had anything to do with that, but the two of us we kind of bounced, thank God. Thank God, he's just, you know, can, can appreciate good, good quality food, but we try very hard to eat really good protein. So, you know, we, we order from an online company so we're getting a grass fed and pastured and everything like that. We, we, you know I, what I preach to my women is you want to get more protein in in midlife. So most women like, even be like. When I first heard, well, when I first started paying more attention to fitness, and probably in my forties, um, I tracked what I ate and it was hardly any protein because, like most midlife women, we just weren't raised that way, like you eat the vegetables and you eat everything fat free, and you, you know, and the kids get your meat, the meat that you made.

Speaker 1: 14:41

First you get the leftovers, kind of thinking, but now you know I preach to them you should be shooting for at least one gram of your ideal body weight in protein a day. So if you want to be, you know, 135 pounds, that's 135 grams of protein, which is very hard for most women to get. So you know, I start, you know, explaining that if you can front load your day, you're going to be ahead of the game because you just fasted overnight and now we're going to take that time, that first meal, and give your body what it really needs in order to continue throughout the day, rather than getting into such stress that you're. You know, remember how we grew up with, like Cheerios or, you know, froot Loops, and that was breakfast, like that was just pure sugar, and if I did that today I'd have a horrible headache.

Speaker 1: 15:28

But I just I think by eating properly is an 80-20 rule. You go 80% as best you can and 20%. You know, we went on vacation and every single night we had dessert. You know, it was always a celebration. And then you come back home and you just jump back in. So it's not a big deal, there is no guilt. There's no guilt, it's just a lifestyle. So you eat the best you can and you don't. Nothing is off limits, nothing's off limits, it's just a lifestyle. So you eat the best you can and you don't. Nothing is off limits, nothing's off limits. You just have to decide. Is this going to serve me in this moment? Okay, if I really feel like I want it, I'm going to have it.

Speaker 3: 16:01

Yeah, I have a friend of mine who's a coach and she was talking about that, and it's like when it's like even in your mouth, right, like when you're doing the extra, like the 20%, like does it actually feel good? Like are you actually enjoying it or are you just doing it because you haven't had it in a while? Right, that thought of like oh yeah, I want to have, you know, the creme brulee at dessert? Right, but do you need the whole thing or just need a couple of bites, like what's enough to like, make you feel like, oh, I like that, but it's not going to like, make me feel like, oh my God, I had too much of that, or something along those lines. And so I like the 80-20, because everybody tries to be perfect in life and there's no such thing. So I like that 80-20 mix.

Speaker 1: 16:44

Yeah for sure. Yeah, the perfection is poison, because I think that's at least that's how I felt when we were in this diet culture where you had to be good all the time and then, of course, you fell off on the weekend because you were exhausted and you were hungry and crabby. So it has to be something that's sustainable, as we all know. So, whatever works for you, and if you can concentrate, especially for midlife and the guys too concentrate on that protein Fill yourself up with fruits and vegetables about you know as much as you can, the fats will fill in around it. And don't be afraid of the healthy fats, because, you know, an avocado is not a bad thing. It's beautiful, it's got all the phytonutrients and fiber and good fats. So I think that was something that we needed to learn, also coming out of the 80s and 90s diet culture. It's okay, you should be having those macadamia nuts and all.

Speaker 3: 17:37

That's right. That's right. The different things to think about and to consider. You had mentioned, you know, a gram of protein for your ideal weight. Is that true for men as well? For my male listeners? Is that the same philosophy, or is it true for men as well? For my male listeners? Is that the same philosophy, or is it different for women and men?

Speaker 1: 17:55

It is to some degree. I think it depends again where you are. You're not going to just like I will tell my the women, if you're doing 60 right now, you can't jump to 135. This is going to take a while for you to build up. So you add a little bit each day, I mean at each each week. I'd say you come up a little like maybe 15 grams and you do it slowly, otherwise your stomach's going to revolt and say I can't do this. You know, you're just not used to it. So with guys I would say, um, like my husband, he shoots for about 200, which you know he'll get it in at the end of the day where I'm like I'm making. To be honest, this is really funny. But when I make our servings for dinner, like he has, maybe I try and give him a little more, but it's still a lot. And then he'll come out after you know, like maybe eight, eight o'clock, nine o'clock, he'll do like a bowl of Greek yogurt with a scoop of protein powder and blueberries just to finish that off.

Speaker 3: 18:51

Just to finish it off.

Speaker 1: 18:52

That's probably another 35 right there at least. So there are ways. There are little tricks and tips, as long as you know what your body can tolerate and, like some people, just can't have eggs. So you don't have the egg powder or the eggs or the egg whites, even though it's a great source of protein, you can't have dairy. Well, there's a lot of non-dairy things too. In fact, this morning I had by accident, I didn't know, because my husband went shopping he got a cottage cheese that was lactose free. I never had that before and it was fine, like it still had the protein in it and you know it's great. If you can't tolerate dairy, there's some things out there.

Speaker 3: 19:29

What she mentioned the cottage cheese piece, like what's one of your like creative ways, like you mentioned the yogurt and the protein powder, but what's another one like creative way to use protein that you might not like, people might not necessarily think of?

Speaker 1: 19:43

Well, I have like my two breakfasts. Three breakfasts I would do, is I actually started doing because I was off dairy for years, years and then I slowly reintroduced it and I'm fine, I don't have any issues. And I will take like three quarters of a cup of Greek yogurt and then I'll do like a half a cup of cottage cheese, mix them together and then I add pumpkin seeds, some chia seeds, the kind of whatever's around I go. I have some nice berries still this time of year, but there's also a really good. I swear this is the best thing because it gives you the sweetness and the tartness. It's an organic freeze dried berry which I get mine at Trader Joe's but I know other companies make it, so it has the taste without. Like you know, in the winter it's hard, like either you're going to use the frozen fruit or like the real berries are ridiculously expensive. So I like that for a topping. And then the other one is a protein oat bowl, if you can do oats, so it's not just all carbs, like we remember as kids. I do an oatmeal that has flax seeds and hemp seeds like in it. It's just an instant and then I will cook it and then add a scoop of protein powder. So now you know you've got that. You can't really it's vanilla, you can't even taste it. And then I will mix that up and then I'll top it with whatever the day, you know, whatever toppings I want for the day. But I just posted a reel today. I think I couldn't believe it when I actually added up, because I don't track anymore, I just know what I like and what kind of works. I think it had 43 grams of protein for an oatmeal bowl and the fiber was what I often forget to talk about. But fiber is so important for guys and for women. But I mean that had 11 grams. So if you're shooting for 30 for the whole day, that's 11 to start off. That's pretty good. So that's two.

Speaker 1: 21:31

And then the third one is a smoothie. That's usually I really like to use. I'll throw in, I'll throw in my banana, then with the protein powder, with a nut, milk or water, and then whatever fruits I'm, you know, usually frozen by then. But what I, what I like is you can change it up based on what you have. You know it's, it's pretty volatile. I can throw in a scoop of not a scoop, but two handfuls of some greens just those bad greens to get your fiber in. Yeah, I mean, if you add some frozen avocado, you turn that into a smoothie bowl that you can literally eat like ice cream. So top it with all your favorite toppings again, like, but it's just just my. My whole advice is you just want to stay away from processed foods and you don't want really as added sugar. But if you love that, I know there's like a I forget the brand, purely Elizabeth, like I don't get that often, but that's down, oh granola.

Speaker 1: 22:29

Yeah, I think isn't it One tablespoon is fine, like, don't say you can't have it, just have a little bit of it. You know what I mean, cause most people will use that as a snack and before you know it you have. You know, you just have a lot of sugar that you've consumed and you didn't really need it. So it's always if you can consume that protein first, that that will fill you up. Then you fill in the rest with the carbs and the fats follow through naturally and it's. It doesn't have to be a complicated formula.

Speaker 3: 22:55

I love that. Yeah, the protein first approach, I think, is where people kind of like get lost and what that looks like.

Speaker 1: 23:04

Yeah, it is. It's just a different way of thinking and once you do it, you just understand that it works. So I'm going to keep doing it and I batch cook. I think one of the best things you can do, and I'm I'm much, I'm, I'm a very live in the moment, last minute. That's just naturally how I am with food. But at least, if you can batch cook a bunch of chicken or a bunch of turkey or a few steaks, whatever it is you're into like on a Sunday, and then for lunch you just have it, you grab it, you use that on top of whatever you know. Maybe you want to make a sandwich, maybe you want a salad, and it's just so easy and it's done.

Speaker 1: 23:38

So that's just you know, something to keep in mind too.

Speaker 3: 23:41

Yeah, that's cooking on Sundays helps, helps a week go a little bit easier.

Speaker 1: 23:45

And we used to never have time when the kids were home, right, because that's right in the games.

Speaker 3: 23:50

That's right. Your life was so busy. It was like catches, catch cam. Yeah sure what's? What's something you've always wanted to do, but you haven't done yet in your emptiness life.

Speaker 1: 24:03

I might be doing a podcast that has been on my list for a while, starting my own, but you know, I don't really know that there's anything I haven't done yet. I mean, we have just started traveling a little bit. You know, it was the first time we didn't, like I said, like we had a very soccer based family. That's every single weekend we would spend Thanksgiving's apart. My poor husband would be down at a tournament with a hot dog for Thanksgiving, showing me pictures Like that's just what we did.

Speaker 1: 24:30

So that was our travel at that time, and now we're focusing on trying to see the world. And you know it's great when you don't have to worry about your kids. It's more who's going to watch the dogs, but you know you can find someone to do that, and it's especially after the pandemic. I think it's just so freeing to get out there and see other cultures and see how people do things differently, and you come back with a whole new viewpoint on. You know, our lifestyle here being so busy, busy, busy and go away and how they slow down and enjoy their food.

Speaker 1: 25:05

There is no coffee on the go. You sit down and you have it and yeah, it's just it's fun I think. So I would say I would continue. I really want to continue doing that.

Speaker 3: 25:15

Is there some place that you visited recently that's like, oh my God, that was the best, or someplace you want to go to that you haven't gone to yet?

Speaker 1: 25:22

I loved Portugal this summer. I would go back in a heartbeat. There's a lot to see there and the food is amazing and the people are so nice and it's just beautiful country. I do have France on my list because I, you know, I like the language. I try and speak it with. You know what I can with my little apps that I practice with, and we went on our honeymoon to Bali, indonesia. So that was like you know, you start with that one and everything else is kind of hard to follow up, but I would like to go back down there to that part of the world again too. So nice.

Speaker 3: 25:58

Yeah, nice, yeah, before I let you go, that's one of my favorite questions to ask people is like what have you recently learned about yourself?

Speaker 1: 26:07

I think I work best in small sets of time. So where I used to be able to sit for two hours at a time, I need to move. To sit for two hours at a time, I need to move. So I've learned that I need to take breaks. Where it used to be hard for me to come back from breaks, I just need to set up some time to do some deep breathing, to at least clear my head, to go outside and walk. I need what I've really learned. This is what I should have said first, but I've learned that nature is really, really important for me to reset and I think, no matter what the season, we have to make an effort to get outside and, if possible, get to some sort of either. Like, I'm very much a water person, so I'm lucky there's a lake in town. I can get to the lake and even just take a 10 minute walk and it'll always kind of fix whatever's going on in my head. So that's, I think I've learned that in the last year the most.

Speaker 3: 27:07

Yeah, I love that. Like movement and nature there's such things I think that are underrated for people, especially now in midlife is to be able to get out and do those things and kind of explore Like. For me, I picked up hiking in the last year and it's like I have a group that I hike with every sunday and it's been like a total game changer just to be out, you know, for two, three, four hours, just in trees and scrambling over rocks, and it's just like it's a great way to start the week and there's no screen time.

Speaker 3: 27:39

You're just out, no screen time just out in nature. Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1: 27:42

That's great, and I think also with people being know, sitting at their desks and working all the time too, and staring at a screen like this is what I mean I'm very surprised by a lot of my like, my friends, my kids, friends who are new to the work world, and they're pretty much virtual. So I mean I guess you can use that to your advantage too. You can go out for a run at lunch or do whatever, but I can't. I think I like the idea of interaction with people very much too. So a hiking group is awesome, because then you get the interaction and nature.

Speaker 3: 28:15

That's right, well, and you can even pull back from the group, like you can go to the back of the pack or the middle of the pack. Like you can go to the back of the pack or the middle of the pack, like you can talk to people and then pull back, and so it's like a good ebb and flow.

Speaker 1: 28:25

Very nice yeah.

Speaker 3: 28:26

Yeah, where can people find you online, krista, if they want to learn more about what you do?

Speaker 1: 28:31

I have a website, kristadailycom, and I'm on Instagram and Facebook at Empty Nest Wellness and, yeah, I think you know I'm pretty much respond as quickly as I can day of if anyone sends me a message, because I just although I will say I mostly leave voice messages because you know, when you get to be our age, you need the readers all the time. I love to chat and I'll just send them a voice message if I can to connect, which I think you know. I think they actually appreciate too.

Speaker 3: 29:02

Yeah, such a great way to do it, awesome. Thank you so much for being here, krista.

Speaker 1: 29:06

Thank you for having me. This was really fun to talk about and you know know that there is light. There is light out there for us empty nesters.

Speaker 3: 29:13

That's right Always and consider the possibilities. Consider the possibilities.

Speaker 1: 29:18

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 29:21

Are you ready to start living and enjoying your empty nest years? If so, head over to jasonramsdencom and click work with me to get the conversation started. This Empty Nest Life is a production of Impact. One Media LLC. All rights reserved.