Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to this Empty Nest Life where your next chapter begins. Join Jay Ramsden, the inspiring voice behind the Empty Nest Coach on TikTok and Instagram, as he leads you on a transformative journey through the uncharted seas of midlife and empty nesting. In each episode, jay thoughtfully unravels the threads of change, growth and self-discovery that come with embracing your new normal. Together, you'll explore the endless opportunities that await you, proving that life doesn't end in your 40s, 50s or beyond it begins again. Here's your host the Empty Nest Coach, jay Ramston.

Speaker 2: 0:35

Hey there, my Empty Nest friends. Welcome to episode 86. I'm so glad you're here today. As always, we'll be exploring personal growth and navigating life's transitions together, because I believe deep down in my soul that we're stronger together than apart. Now I've got a quick question for you. Have you ever found yourself trying to conquer self-doubt? If so, you're in the right place. Today we're going to explore how self-doubt can creep into our lives once the kids are grown and flown, and then we'll dive into some practical tips that can help you embrace this new chapter with confidence. Ready, let's go All right.

Speaker 2: 1:15

So there you are, just sitting there, having spent decades nurturing your children, teaching them everything you know, guiding them. Nurturing your children, teaching them everything you know, guiding them, protecting them and helping them achieve their goals. Then, in what seems like a moment, that happens. All of a sudden, they lead and they head off to college, or they go into the military or head off to work, and it's literally like you get fired from a full-time job you've had for over 18 years light. You get fired from a full-time job you've had for over 18 years. You see it coming there there, far off in the distance, but you never quite find the time to prepare, and you're not alone in that. Listen. Few people actually prepare for this emptiness transition in advance, this empty nest transition in advance.

Speaker 2: 2:09

Okay, so the kids are off. Now what? Well, that question is a great place to start. And then you start to ask yourself other questions. You start to ask your things like what now and what's next, and how am I going to get through this? Eventually, you start to question whether or not you'll have a sense of purpose again, let alone any goals that you might have for the future, which, if you haven't figured out already, this is totally normal, even though it doesn't feel that way right now, in this moment. It's normal because your purpose has been your kids and now they're out adulting and you're left wondering so many things, so many things, my friends, you wonder why the heck is this new phase bringing on such a huge wave of emotions We've got sadness, joy, pride, confusion, apathy, grief, relief and even sometimes joy and why those emotions just seem to come and go as they please, kind of like your kids when they were in high school. Right, you might also find yourself wondering if you can get unstuck yourself. You're wondering whether or not this feeling will ever go away and you may be wondering how do you take that next step in your life?

Speaker 2: 3:28

Here's the kicker that wondering and uncertainty in this new phase in life is self-doubt. It's the one emotion that you might be overlooking once the kids leave. It's the one that might be holding you back from exploring your own dreams, or it may be keeping you from setting some lofty goals, or even just keeping you from getting up and out most days. But guess what? Understanding how to combat self-doubt is the first step to realizing your dreams. It's the first step to even getting you up and out each day, and we're going to tackle that here today on this episode. So let's jump right in, shall we?

Speaker 2: 4:13

So today I've got six powerful strategies to help you overcome self-doubt. I believe they'll resonate with you and you can use them as next steps to take you through your emptiness journey. All right? So number one I always tell my clients to tell the people that I'm working with. Let's acknowledge our emotions.

Speaker 2: 4:34

So remember it's okay to feel uncertain Damn you know what. It's okay to feel all of your feelings. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. Ever, ever, ever, ever. And in the case of self-doubt, you need to know it affects us all.

Speaker 2: 4:49

Every single human being has self-doubt, and the first step to moving beyond it is to acknowledge those feelings without any judgment, like zero zip, not a zilch, nothing. Stop judging yourself for doubting yourself. So when you judge yourself for feelings you're feeling, this keeps you from feeling those feelings. It keeps you being held back by those feelings, and accepting self-doubt is part of the journey, rather than a roadblock. Okay, don't let self-doubt be the roadblock for you. It's actually the key to moving forward.

Speaker 2: 5:30

We're going to hurdle right over self-doubt, and the way that we're going to do that is set some small, achievable goals. All right, so much like climbing a mountain. Every single step has purpose and every single step counts. Focus on small goals. Focus on goals you can imagine, that are manageable and that you can celebrate easily. Every goal is a victory. Sometimes we want to wait to have this really big goal accomplished, but it's the small ones that matter most. So each little win helps you build confidence. All right.

Speaker 2: 6:03

So let's say you want to start a habit of walking. You don't start that journey by going out and walking five miles. You work up to it in small chunks, and by small chunks I mean really, really small chunks. Maybe the first day you just walk to the end of the driveway, then the next day it's around the block, then you shoot for a mile, and then the next day, and then you do that for a few days, then you move to a mile and a half, and so on and so on. So to remove the self-doubt in your life, you have to take action. But the action doesn't have to be this big, ginormous action. It can be these small, little, tiny steps. You don't have to take a leap, just small steps that add up over time. Okay, remember, every step has purpose, all right number two seek support.

Speaker 2: 6:57

Don't underestimate the power of community. Seriously, the number one thing you can do is to let someone know you're struggling. Let them know you're struggling with self-doubt. Reach out. Reach out to loved ones who you know can lift you up. Reach out to friends. They just might be going through the same thing you are and my guess is they'd probably appreciate having someone to share with as much as you want someone to share with. Listen sometimes simply sharing your feelings can dissipate their intensity and remind you that you're not alone. And if you're struggling with self-doubt in your own community your family, your friends you don't have any support whatsoever. Please come join me in my Facebook group, this Empty Nest Life. We've got a growing community. It's full of free resources and I do monthly live coaching. I'll add the link to the show notes. Check us out monthly live coaching. I'll add the link to the show notes. Check us out and I hope to see you there, okay. Next up is number three.

Speaker 2: 8:02

Embrace failures as growth. When you try something, anything, you might think that failure is the end. I'm here to tell you that it's not. It's simply part of the process. One of my favorite sayings is that there is success and there is learning. You learn from your failures, so you have to embrace it. You also grow from your failures. Think of it as a stepping stone.

Speaker 2: 8:29

When I was on my journey to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, I struggled every single step of the way, from day one to day five, for hours on end. Every single day I was challenged. I had to face each opportunity with the attitude that I could learn from it. In order to learn from it, I needed to know what I was capable of, and that idea of every step has purpose, and knowing what I was capable of is what kept me going. Yeah, I could have failed. I could have stopped Shoot, I could have quit after the first day, when we were in the rainforest and it was like 80 plus degrees and 80% humidity, and let me tell you, this body of mine hates those conditions. But I took it as a challenge. I took it as a challenge and it was definitely an opportunity for me to learn, to grow. My friends, you've got to embrace setbacks, you reflect on them and you adapt your approach to help you move forward. That is how we grow and learn. It's how we keep moving forward, especially in our emptiness lives. All right.

Speaker 2: 9:42

Number four practice self-compassion. As humans, this might be one of the toughest things we struggle with, for whatever reason. We want to get down on ourselves and beat ourselves up when things seem to be hard or we don't believe that we can do them. I'm here to tell you be gentle with yourself. Progress takes time, and that's perfectly okay. Grant yourself grace as you navigate this transition. Grant yourself grace as you navigate this transition.

Speaker 2: 10:08

When I was on Kilimanjaro, our guides would repeat the phrase pole pole, which simply means slowly, slowly. It means take your time, you will get to the end. So I learned a lot from that journey, but most importantly, I learned that to take each day as it comes and to practice self-compassion along the journey. Listen, before you had kids, you didn't know what it would be like, but you tackled each day as it came. The same is true now. You didn't know what life would be like when the kids were grown and flown, but now you do and you're learning. I'm talking progress, not perfection, here. So keep that in mind and stop beating yourself up. Practice self-compassion every single day.

Speaker 2: 10:54

Number five reflect on past successes. Now, your brain easily forgets all that you've accomplished in your life. Think about it for a moment right, there are lots of things you've done in your life that have been successful, things that you've accomplished, things that you've completed. So remind your brain of it, remind yourself everything that you've achieved in your life, no matter how small. Everything you have achieved counts as a success. Everything you have achieved counts as a success. And when I get down on myself or I'm not going fast enough or not seeing improvements on my past accomplishments, self-reflection and reminding myself that I've achieved things is the number one thing that I do. And here's why Reflecting on your past accomplishments can reignite your belief in your ability to tackle new challenges. And finally, number six how is the time to take action? Now is the time.

Speaker 2: 11:51

Picture this You're standing at the starting line of a new journey. You can see the road ahead, You're filled with focus, you're filled with determination, your energy level is high because you know you can achieve anything in this moment. But then, right next to you, there's doubt. It's whispering in your ear. It's telling you about all the times you failed instead of the times that you succeeded. It's there telling you how you're not good enough or deserving enough or strong or brave enough. It's there because that is your brain's way of trying to keep you safe. It's its job. It's its job right. It's trying to keep you where you are in life right now, because that's safer than trying something new.

Speaker 2: 12:33

But instead of letting that doubt discourage you, you can use it as a tool. You can use it as a tool to propel yourself forward. Tell doubt to take a long hike off a short pier. Tell it it's not wanted in your life anymore to take a long hike off a short pier. Tell it it's not wanted in your life anymore. Tell doubt that you will no longer take orders from it because you're in control of your life, not the doubt.

Speaker 2: 12:56

Now I know what you're thinking to yourself, jay, this is easier said than done, but you now have five solid tips and one reminder to take action. You've got this, my friends. You've got this All friends. You've got this All right, my emptiness friends. Thanks for joining me today as we've explored practical strategies to overcome self-doubt. Remember, self-doubt doesn't define your path. It's simply a feeling that you can acknowledge and move beyond. Now I know this transition can feel overwhelming, but it's also a wonderful opportunity for growth. So take that opportunity to grow, take that opportunity to learn. Before we wrap up today's session. I want to invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. Each week I share insights and tips that can empower you in your personal development journey. Visit wwwjasonramsdencom slash newsletter to subscribe today. Finally, if you've experienced self-doubt in your own life or you have stories to share about overcoming it, I wanna hear about it. Shoot me an email, hit me up at coaching at jasonramsdencom. All right, until next time. My friends always remember in this emptiness life every step has purpose, and you've got this.

Speaker 1: 14:16

Are you ready to start living and enjoying your empty nest years? If so, head over to jasonramsdencom and click work with me to get the conversation started. Let's make your life lighter, brighter and full of joy and purpose again. This Empty Nest Life is a production of Impact. One Media LLC. All rights reserved.